It wasn’t till after a 2 full days of a blizzard did I realize it was the best time to write. Especially when it pasted.. still blowing wind but way way less . I would guess as an non expert , that is was def. in the blizzard range of ” above 35 mph and over 8 hrs ” . Ok We did that here. In fact 30 hrs non stop .
But unless u know me personally , nobody knows where I am experiencing this post first Blizzard.
There are there are personals that think they know like that DRC . ( don’t really care ) then theres the ” Oh are u ok up there by ur itsy bitsy self tough girl ? ” group .
So I found some new groups . Up here . I like them.
The last time I wrote , it was about me finding my new place to live in Co.
It was a fun winter skiing in Monarch sometime while putting , yes offers on houses and then backing out.
Now if Marilyn was reading this she would be yelling ( opps saying loudly) “she did that. PuLLed OUt . For one reason or another “. But thats in its self another story.
After sailing in nearby ( sort of) Lake Dillion and some Denver waters during the later part of summer , I went on an exciting ( sorri not sexually ) sailing trip from St. Pete’s to unfortunaelty only Ft . Myers .
All women, two chartacters. I mean Captains with two others . One w loved to cook , sort of a crew member but great sense of positivennesss.
The Captains , well .. both were older than 65 , one had hip problems that lead to a numerous ways of unloading her and hauling ( me pushing her butt on deck ) too due to that thing called Tides.
Fun trip for me despite our numerous problems w a new sailboat . Including a fire .
Lets go back to where am I ?
A nite free from my lover.
The only time I see him now is in my dreams.
Basically the same but w different social settings and background music.
After all , one can create dreams and change dreams and stop them.
With late night cheese inductions , well not just cheese , but basically dairy . Wonder if lactose free products do the same ?Only sometimes ice creme . Cookies and creme . Mainly yogurt.
Different places but same dream as if my illusion of how it feels so right but seems wrong is so very real .
She is there w her perfect Cheshire cat smile and clothing to hide her chubby thighs after years of yoga.
He is still talking about himself.She nods . She smiles . She glazes .
His stares are filled w intense lusting at times toward me , often too boldly. As if to make suggestions of a stolen kiss or more , perhaps later .
I seem to drift between walls watching him like he is prey .
Those feelings of stolen lust warms me to want to touch myself .
Shit here it goes again. I will awake w/o him . I know he is warm next to her.
There is often quick sex .. always doors for him to disappear and reappear . Dark areas to meet . To touch and kiss . Then her hand appears and he takes it w a last second glance w his sparkling eyes towards me suggesting there will be others stolen moments . Yes ” I am his best “.
Some will say those dreams are perfect timing. Time to see where I stand not only in my dreams but in my real life. . His life . I am nowhere.
A cheeseless nite,.Let’s see if he sneaks into my dreams as I only had a sweet cookie to nibble on tonite.
That last post is an intro to my next sailing adventure w Captn Charl in the US VI .
Which brings me back to why am i running away .. far away at that .
Nick was naursistic in general . Needs lots of attention or hits.
I loved him 101 % Yes too much . He dropped to 50 % at some point then lately only 25% . After I realized he went back to “her” to give it a clean honest try . And probably lining up a new victim. I do miss the sex. Part of it was good. So I guess I feel ok that I had a long term ? w somebody for a freaking Long Time who was younger than me .
Yah ?.. So there.
We had a lot of fun and tears . My sex and writer friend .
Sooooo Don’t feel too sorri for me ( yet ) .
My new destiny awaits me on a blue velvet rug ! On a sailboat ! Yeah ! I will be trained by a NE captain. Help me!
Wow again .. at least i have stories written in my notebooks. yes plural books.
I will be back soon.