Another ending , another relization


My last Settlers Park meetup to share a ride to Elodora apperaed w/o any notice. 5 teaching days left and today started off the best. Rode w an employee who always is positive and so full of life despite her own setbacks that before u know it we are parked in the big swimming pool of cars all hankering to get to yes fresh powder again that had fallen the nite before.
But I was thinking I was up in the Kids center which meant no freshies to ski unless I got a high level kid class.
But still happy to find out I was not in the Center and had time to take a few runs in snow I cant just get enough of Powder.
Powder to some of us is as addicting as drugs, alcohol or even sex. Yes I would trade a few inches of powder for a few inches of a penis.
There is something primal, seductive about the silkiness and floating feeling I get when sailing thru this nothing more than soft frozen water particles. Simply soothing and exotic .

Back to the ending tho .Ended up teaching 7 great first time skiers ages from 14- ? ( i didn’ t ask ) but adults all from the Frontrange area.
Nice family but all chubby but Dad and one kid thinking of going to CU and his sister and a very baby like Mom who thought she was still 6 yrs old at the age of forty but very nice and appreciative of my encouragement .
Relaxing lunch w an old timer instructor who I really respect , finish my class w two ok tips and then got the “Go see HR” when I checked out my class.
What really.. at first I thought oh they need a form filled out for exixiting . Then it hit me as I walked over to the trailer type building , They are going to test me for using legal pot on my own time while not at work again.
I start to panic and tear up under my sunglasses trying not to let them fall on my cheeks even tho the wind was blowing them dry . I am right .. sadly . I refuse and then was terminated on the spot .
After 4 years , one accident where I was hit by a student , went to a clinic they recomened for injuries and then tested positive for pot. Suspened for two weeks, went sailing healed retested “eldora clean” and then 5 days before I am done for the season , they want to test me. After almost 90 days of working like a dog for them in all weather and sometimes w only gas money for my reward for the entire day .
Well I guess my Red Card, neck tightness that benifits w/o presriptions other than an occasional puff or tincture herbal oil not ok w Eldora . They still live by old Fed rules. Maybe they are Mormons . Its another rumor as we also can not wear blue jeans to orientation ..
Even tho it is very legal in Colorado .image
Not sure if the slap will dampen my feelings to work there next season . I do really enjoying working w my fellow employees and would never turn in the other % 80 users there but really me an older , light user gets the boot ? Some example or scapegoat .
Turned in my heavy and too big but dependable red jacket , emptying out the pockets of stickers,snacks, sunsreen, notes, pens and silly promps I used for kids all now dumped in a box in my car . Till ?
Relization that I was merely nothing but an underpaid pawn for a ” corporation ” that saw no worth of my years of very dedicatied work and great friendship w employees meant not much. Well nothing. So much for honesty again.
Sort of like my very long term relationship I had w UKW.
Its ok tho..
Life is changing and Its going to be getting better starting


Another tiny powder day and a tiny slip back


Work and the snow were both interesting. My one hour private lesson was unique ( again) . Two brothers, two different worlds and ski ability .
Found out the family lives near me so I was nice when they did not tip 😦 .
Snow was 3 inches on top of crunchy granola . I preeneded I was in the back county . It was good AT conditions but we were actually at a ski resort w grooming equipment . Too cheap to run that nite ?
I also managed to skate ski for a short bit later after I checked out of work .
Lovely quiet, not sticky and busy w skiers. I cried . Its a good place to a healthy cry . I am slowly healing. I was told to do,this but sometimes my vanity worries about the vas amonts of tears and how i wrinkle my face w saddness.
But I slipped.
I broke NC by sending an old pic of me and texted how happy those flowers had made me. that was it .
Of course no reply will ever surface. It is an addiction.

Moved on . Been reading some blogs . who needs magazines w all our great articles.
Cheers Gillian

Be grateful for anything alive !

Sea of Relief


Sea of Cortez.
I have a few days to sail, swim , bike and dance.
So I find out where the closest sailing bum bar is. I find it very close to my place.
I try to find a sailboater ( sailor of some sort ) at a local tavern mainly Gringo’s from west usa coast or british and Canucks . But its dark and relaxing but dark and gringy to others. I have a pic of the back area where many fund raisers have been held and parties too !
I find one ! A sailor fellow .
Stuart , I knew he wrote stuff and sailed so we started chatting .
He walks me back .We meet the next day at his dingy thingy . Watch the sunset and go out to dinner and attempt at patio sex at my cool B&B Inn . ask me about it. Or did we ? We then meet again for dinner after walking a good mile finding this brillant local hamburger spot . Yumm.
He left. He is still down there. Nice life .
Anyways ,
Next blogging is about care of me.
dreams to all,


Williwass and rosettes ?


Ok .
That last post is an intro to my next sailing adventure w Captn Charl in the US VI .

Which brings me back to why am i running away .. far away at that .

Nick was naursistic in general . Needs lots of attention or hits.
I loved him 101 % Yes too much . He dropped to 50 % at some point then lately only 25% . After I realized he went back to “her” to give it a clean honest try . And probably lining up a new victim. I do miss the sex. Part of it was good. So I guess I feel ok that I had a long term ? w somebody for a freaking Long Time who was younger than me .
Yah ?.. So there.
We had a lot of fun and tears . My sex and writer friend .

Sooooo Don’t feel too sorri for me ( yet ) .
My new destiny awaits me on a blue velvet rug ! On a sailboat ! Yeah ! I will be trained by a NE captain. Help me!
Stay tuned.

Wow again .. at least i have stories written in my notebooks. yes plural books.
I will be back soon.

Mixing up exercise that is not so boring.. and stop wearing black .


I think I covered all my recent topics except this one and then we can move to new (ish) topics before I leave on my long month long sailing trip!

Balance , sense of humor, and bucks can make or break a workout .
Balance is everything. Just jump and down and that is somewhat your balance stance and postion. Hips ,knee and ankles all lined up above each other . A Proper stance is in every sport and exercise whether it be yoga or jumping jills .
Sense of humor is lso needed . Do not get wrapped up in all the super skinny dressed in black she wolfs who are so competitive they even try to out sweat u while looking darling w their damn ponytails ( which by the way makes one face all tighter ) (wonder what they look like w/ o that lift) and helium trill voices professing where they just went and are going ” like I jus go back from Steamboat and now we are on our way to Jamaica by rowboat that we are rowing” . And wear all black to look too skinny .
Instead embrace your experience and sense of its all about me .Who gives a rat ass if aren’t the best gym rat and just try to finish the damn course or classes and for sure out run those black tight asses .
I have taken a few boot camps recently and finished. Not to sure if i would again . A bit too intense w indoor stuff w lots of obnoxious loud music and grunting and outlooking each other in yes black tights and ponytails. I prefer outdoor room classes and less drill sergeants.

Bucks .. U can spend a lot on this .
Yoga studios are $$ , try to get away from the scene and do it at home or in your yard or at a park .
Same goes w clubs, support your local rec centers or at least pick something very close to ur house or work that will get u there fast before happy hours . sometimes.

What do I do for exercise u are asking?
Well I cross country run from my house , Nordic and downhill ski, swim sort of, use the rec center gym and bike . Taken a few 6 weeks classes , do some yoga. I also use a wet sauna and spa and get massages . And sail. Remember !! I also had a student of love to get all sweaty w. And I garden .

But do these trainings in no special order or frequency , more a whim. I go by weather conditions and time.
I dont do distance as it can be too competive on myself. I do get stronger tho .
So its always well mostly is not boring. A good read is important too to bring for boring aerobic machines. Seriously I don’t always want to play a game ..listen to their loud music or watch tv.
Other times when I am just not into it , I say Give me my IPad and some tea and whiskey and let me write. I can always go for a walk or hey clean my place..nahhhhh!
Key is have some fun and its not just how u look when u exercise . Do image u think guys wonder what to wear to look sexy ?

POP ‘s and IPW , collecting plastic pellets while sailing


Whats International Pellet Watch IPW) ?

Being aware of our oceans and shores health is part of our responsibility of being care takers of the earth .

Which is why while on my upcoming almost a month sail , I am going to be collecting plastic resin pellets on island shorelines in the USVI and BVI’s .
These are small white or yellowing color resin and granules with a shape of a cylinder or a disk with a diameter of a few mm.
These plastic particles are industrial raw material transported to manufacturing sites which are then remelted into final products. These can be unintentionally be released to the environment during transporting and manufacturing .
They are carried by surface waters eventually to streams then the ocean.
Because they are highly persistence they are found all over the world .
Because they accumulate organic pollutants such as PCB’s and organochlorine pesticides , the pellets distributed on world beaches can be collected w stainless tweezers ( 100- 200 )and shipped in an envelope for research and mapping to a Tokyo University researcher .
They are found on high tide line on beaches together w other materials such as trash , wood material , shells .
check out and their maps ..
Very imagescary thinking how many marine and fresh water living creatures swallow and digest these plastic pellets .